Some splainin to do...

So, I posted this morning my intentions. And yes, they were the hurried before work kind of intentions. I've been inspired reading the blogs of others and how candid they can be. While there is a certain level of privacy to maintain, there is always something cathartic about putting it all on the table. My previous post before today was dated July 10, 2009. I mentioned having a headache.. boy was that an understatement! In fact, that post happened 4 days after I found out I was pregnant with DS #2. I promptly had my first migraine ever and ended up in the hospital over night. It was just the beginning of a stressful but so worth it pregnancy. We struggled to get pregnant the second time. No real answers were given but after 2 rounds of clomid to adjust my cycle, we conceived off meds. I also had what I now know was a gallbladder attack and passed a stone right before I conceived as well. So anyway, I had spotting until about 12 weeks. I stayed nauseous and was losing weight. Seriously, what pregnant woman LOSES weight?! At 17 weeks I had a major scare- bleeding. That was when we found out for sure we were having son number 2, Xander. From that point on, I stayed on modified bed rest and almost lost my job. 2 days before I was supposed to be induced I had what I now know was gallbladder attack #2. I ended up hospitalized early. They thought I had HELPP which is like pre-eclampsia but a little worse. After having an epidural not work right, X was born after 21.5 hrs of labor with the cord wrapped around his neck twice and with a knot. I barely remember asking if he was going to be okay and the doc saying "we're not sure." Fast forward to today and at 25 months old I can say that he is more than okay :) So, 6 weeks later I start having these intense chest pains about once a month. I get a stress test and echocardiogram and all is well with my heart. I get an MRI on my gallbladder, all is supposedly well. That year we had an extended Christmas break. 1 week before going back I get extreme pain like I had right before having X. I go to the ER- nothing, just muscles. I go to the doctor- nothing, no clue. I go back to the ER while turning a nice shade of orange. Why yes, there are gallstones but they're not causing this pain. At 1 am 4 days after the initial onset of pain, I call an ambulance. DH thinks I'm nuts- I mean 4 different doctors have said I'm fine. I can't move the pain is so intense. I wait and I wait in the ER. The ER doc comes in and thinks, well maybe it's a blood clot (I have a clotting factor because of Lupus) and sends me for a CAT scan. The hospitalist comes in and says "did you know you are orange?". I say, "yes, I was when i left here less than 12 hrs ago." He explains I have pancreatitis. I just want to be hospitalized. Then the surgeon comes in and says "I think you threw a stone and it's stuck in your pancreatic duct. We need to get the pancreatitis down and then we'll get the gallbladder out." All I care about are pain meds. Pancreatitis isn't that bad is it?! Turns out, it is bad and I was very close to not doing well at all... Thank God they finally found it! So no foods or drinks, stone passes, pancreatitis is down, I go for surgery. I should be able to leave the hospital on day 5. Well, I come out of surgery and my Oxygen levels are down. They think it is a clot again. Oh no, it's not. Instead my lungs filled up with fluid and are injured because of the pancreatitis (did I mention I had trouble breathing previous to surgery?) So I spend a day in ICU. By the grace of God I go home 2 days later and the rest is history... So that was Jan 2011. Meanwhile Nate has entered Preschool and speech is still a mystery for him. He has more trouble communicating as he's gotten older. To say that the last 2 yrs have been difficult are an understatement. I still get panicky about the medical mishaps and we still struggle to deal with the life impact of Autism. I've found myself struggling with happiness since the pancreatitis event. So, I've made a couple of goals and I'm sticking to them! 1- Eat better!! Seriously! 2- Lose weight! 3- Exercise (walk, etc) at least 3-4 times a week. 4- GET BACK INTO CRAFTING! To help all this, I'm getting back into blogging as well. We all need some sort of release. I truly miss the fun and enjoyment of crafting and sharing it with others. I'm getting back with Stampin Up and I'm going to get my creative juices flowing! First, we need to finish the craft room but that'll be soon enough. Until then I'll be posting randomness but I hope to keep things updated for my sake over all else!